I am the Enemy


So, we’re back here again. It borders on humiliating to have to admit it, but my body has finally won out. You see, my physical body has been waging war against my logical (and sometimes illogical) mind over the last year or so. Well technically, the war has lasted longer than a year with brief stand offs in recognition of valiant negotiation tactics.

The final straw (or perceived final straw in this moment of clarity) is the ulcer. It could have been the IBS, or the kidney stone, there was potential for it to be the lack of energy and exhaustion… but the breaking point is the ulcer. Generally I like change, I find it exciting and full of opportunities, unless it comes to my diet. If I had my way I would never eat a vegetable or fruit again. Don’t gasp in horror or be one of those people who LOVES fruit and vegetables. Don’t be judgy. Think of me as a crack whore - it’s all I know. I can’t help myself.

Now, on the topic of health, I don’t mean to infer my issues are even remotely capable of fulfilling the dramatic needs of an after school special or movie of the week. Having friends that have had cancer, crohns, herniated discs and such…. on the long list if ills, I am still very lucky. That said, the feeling like crap merry-go-round has got to stop because I am getting vertigo like you wouldn’t believe.

The body is pretty amazing. If you ever take the time to go and see naturopaths, and doctors skilled in specialties beyond the simplistic western medical approach, you’ll learn things that make for seriously great party tricks!

Party Trick (or how your body is smarter than you)

Part A:

  1. Take something healthy like vitamins or vegetables and hold them in your dominant hand.
  2. Stretch out your arm at shoulder height to the side, holding it straight. You’re still holding the vitamins or vegetable. Hold your hand palm facing up and straight arm. 
  3. Ask someone to push down on your arm, trying to apply pressure and push it towards the ground. You resist. Notice how strong you feel (or not).

Part B:

  1. Next up put down the vitamins or vegetable and replace it with something like sugar, a chocolate bar, an eclair something not “healthy”
  2. Stretch out your arm again at shoulder height to the side of your body while still holding the unhealthy (but sweetly delicious) item. Don’t forget, palm up.
  3. Ask the same person to apply pressure and resist. You should see a notable difference in the strength of your arm and ability to resist. For instance, my arm becomes a wet noodle.

It’s pretty fascinating, because if you get really good at listening to your body, you can hold different foods in your hand to “muscle test” if they are good for your body (for instance allergies or food sensitivities). If you hold food close to your chest, you can actually feel your body swaying slightly forward or slightly away from the food, depending on whether it’s good for you. I don’t suggest trying this with Tequila for instance.

It’s best described here but the brief summary is: if pressure is applied to an individual’s extended arm while her body’s electrical system is being adversely affected, the muscles will weaken and the arm will not be able to resist the pressure. The circuits of the electri-cal system are overloaded or have short-circuited, causing a weakening of that system. However, if pressure is applied while her electrical system is being positively affected, the circuits remain strong, balanced and capable of fully functioning throughout the body. The muscles will remain strong, the person will easily resist and the arm will hold its position.

The website above has a great diagram for self-testing so you don’t always need to buddy up with a partner to discover whether that double fudg-eeo is good for you or not.

So after seeing my amazing doctor in Vancouver who uses neural link or neural integration, I was thoroughly depressed and also kicked in the ass. At one point her exact words were, “Well, everything is kind of off right now isn’t it?” There was a checklist of dysfunctions with thyroid, metabolism, melatonin, serotonin, dopamine, bacteria (stupid ulcer) and so on.

Soon after, I stopped the merry-go-round and got off the self-pity horse. Back to no more wheat (why is gluten free bread so expensive?), avoiding eggs as much as possible, and paying more attention to what and how I eat. If, like me you’re bolstered up by quick fixes of sugar and erratic energy swings, take a look at the following sites and after you’re done crying, go buy some low glycemic foods and create some sustainable habits to manage stress.

What is the Glycemic Index

The Glycemic Index Diet Guide

Stress and Cortisol

I’m not saying I can do it cold turkey, or that I will be happy about it. In fact, I will whine and complain and cheat from time to time. Basically, my body has taken over and indicated in no uncertain terms that I have to get my shit together. It has decided that all the small warning signals are not getting through to my thick, sugar addled brain.

So here I am, waving the white flag and reluctantly eating my cardboard bread and seeking out exciting healthy recipes. I surrender, dammit.